muskie madness home page This page made with
Bud Light.

For best results download a few before viewing.
RocketFuel

Recycle Bin / Toxic Waste Dump

don't click here    CAUTION - This page may contain some objectionable content!
( In fact I pretty much guarantee it )





  • Dec 17, 2000 Update
    John and Bruce (official Slimetime crewmembers) came up with the following little ditty. Apparently these boys had way too much time on their hands and way too many brewskis themselves!!!!

    THE WRECK OF THE MUSKIEBOAT SLIMETIME

    The legend lives on from Anchor Bay on down
    Of the big lake they called 'Muskie City'
    The lake, so they say, never gives a forty away
    When the skies of December turn shitty.
    With a load of cold Buds, twenty-four brewskis more
    Than the muskyboat Slimetime weighed empty.
    That good boat and crew was a TX to be chewed
    When the gales of December came early.

    The boat looked so fine in the Rocketman's eyes
    Coming out of some boatramp on the Ruscom
    As the big boats go, it was smaller than most
    With a crew and good captain slightly polluted
    Concluding some terms with a couple beerstore firms
    When they left fully loaded for Peche Island.
    And later that day when the reel drag ripped away
    Could it be the many beers they'd been feelin'?

    The wind in the planer wires made a tattle-tale sound
    And a wave broke over the transom
    And both crewmen knew, as the Rocketman did too,
    T'was the Hawg of St.Clair come stealin'.
    The MuskieBabes came late, and the brews had to wait
    When the drag on the downrod went screamin'.
    When that snap of broken line came no one else was to blame,
    For the forty pounder they were no longer reelin'.

    When beer o'clock came, a MuskieBabe came on deck sayin'.
    Fellas, pass me a cold one will ya?
    Two minutes later when she found no more left, she said
    Fellas, it's been good t'know ya.
    Rocketman radioed in he had no Bud next to him,
    And the good boat and crew might miss beertime.
    And later that night when his board flags went outta sight
    Came the wreck of the muskieboat Slimetime.

    Does anyone know where the Musky God goes
    When the beers turn the minutes to hours?
    The searches all say they'd have made Muscamoot Bay
    If they'd put fifteen more cold ones aboard her.
    They might have left the plug out or they might have capsized;
    They may have got drunk and fell over.
    And all that remains is the faces and the names
    Of the beers, and the babes, and the waters.

    The South Channel rocks, Thames River sings
    With the splashing of her elusive muskies.
    Rocketman steams, drunk in his dreams;
    The islands and shores are for panfish weenies.
    And thirty feet behind the submerged Slimetime,
    wiggles eight running true, Terminators.
    And the fishing boats go as the fisherman all know
    with the gales of December remembered.

    In a musty VFW hall in St. Clair Shores they toasted,
    During the Michigan Ontario Muskie Club meeting.
    The last call bell chimed till it rang three times
    For each man on the muskieboat Slimetime.
    The legend lives on from Anchor Bay on down
    Of the big lake they called 'Muskie City'
    St. Clair, so they say, never gives a forty away,
    When the skies of December turn shitty.

  • Nov 14,2000 Update
    I have a bunch of tips to make your computer run fast. If you aren't too chicken you might want to try a few of them. They aren't at all fishing related so I just put this little link right here instead. Watch out!!!!

  • Jan 8, 2000 Update
    I got this e-mail from one of my buddies today. Obviously this guy needed to be straightened out!

    Dude,
    I'm beside myself. My net and beer minders left me for some rich guy with a Scarabb. (Bastard). Guess I'll haft to sharpen and tune those Terminators myself. :( Hey, at least I know they won't steal any! Plus, they weren't useing there finger nails to test any of the hook points. (traitors')
    To be honest, I'd rather catch a Hog than have to put up with any of there crap. All right, maybe thats a tough call.. They were getting loose anyways...( yea, right..) I'll just have you or Bruce get my beers and land my babies from now on ...He,he. As long as you guys promise to be gentle.....I don't want any Hog to loose its slime before its time... Hey, thats pretty poetic HUH?
    Later. JM

    Here's my answer to that crap!

    Dude,
    What a bummer those MuskieBabes left ya. Ya know it's like the famous Rocketman quote goes "Money is the best cologne". Oh well, he's got a full boat now so maybe you got a chance for some leftovers....
    Anyways, you get a broken heart over a couple of nymphomaniac, bi-girl, gymnast who can put their legs behind their heads MuskieBabes (with oral fixations) and you're feeling down. What do you do? Take it like a man and go get drunk and get a hooker? NOT! You come wimpering to me and Bruce to take it easy on you and I quote "As long as you guys promise to be gentle".
    I would be damn embarassed to write something like that! What are you a damn girl scout? Muskie fishing is a man's sport and if you want to fish with the Rocketman you're fuckin' gonna' work like a man! Fuck that easy pussie stuff - you're pullin rods and cleanin' weeds bud! In fact, just for being such a pussie, you're gonna have to change all the damn baits whenever I damn well feel like I want to try 9 different ones ( which will be about every 15 minutes you pussie!) On top of that, you damn well better be sure I got a cold brewski handy at all times and it better not be some pissbrew like that Rolling Rock you drink all the time. Make it something good like Guiness! Yeah - and some Slims Jims too!!!
    Also - I hope you got a lot of money cause I'm painting those TX's now. They are looking outstandingly awesome but the only problem is they are too mean for any pussies to be runnin' so when you come fishing just bring 'em along for non-pussies like me and Bruce to run. You pay for 'em, we run 'em. Cool. Don't forget to sharpen the hooks either and it better not be no pussie sharpening job!!!
    You can write back once you grew a spine,
    KB
    PS - What the hell are you doing home on a Saturday night!!!!!? Get you sorry ass out there and get yourself some new Muskie Babes!!!

  • Want to see something kind of cool? This is my old splash page from way back in the beginning of 1998. It still gives me the shivers if I haven't looked at it for a while.

  • Don't you hate web sites that send you to other sites, open those damn pop-up windows, and worst of all crash your browser? It's done with JavaScript and it sucks and you don't need to put up with it. Here is my Web Surfin' Tip No. 1:
    Disable your JavaScript. Here is where you go to do it:

    AOL3.0 - members > preferences > www > security

    IE4.0 - view > options > security

    NS4.0 - edit > preferences > advanced

  • For Women Only - A lot of you have been asking for a more "revealing" picture of yours truly, the Rocketman. Who knows for what purpose. Well Ladies, I'll show you mine if you show me yours. I'll go first.

  • If you hold your mouse pointer over any image anywhere on my site some more stuff will appear. There are some easter eggs laying around too. Watch out if you find one.

  • If you click muskie site or lure site or those icons just above the Lake St. Clair weather on my main page you can see all kinds of cool stuff about who comes to visit.

  • The Muskie Fishing News from my main page is sort of archived. Old news might still be good news.

  • Terminator Tuning Tips are detailed instructions of how to tune your T-baits for maximum performance. Might work on other types of lures too....

The author is a member of

The HTML Writers Guild

Home  |  Tacklebox  |  Bigguns  |  Set Up  |  Tips  |  Links  |  Guest Photos  |  Lunar  |  Guestbook   |  Musky God  |  Fishing Reports

spam-proof email address

Release
© 1997-2001 ESOX Design, Inc.