2005-2006 News Archives
I am still trying to digest the ass whoppin' we got the last time we went out. I have had a few emails of condolences from other folks who haven't been doing all that spectacular either lately. Thanks, it's good to know we were not alone.
Anyhow, after a careful investigation I have determined that our totally pitiful 0 for 0 performance could have been due to a strange confluence of many factors. First, it was a full moon. Coincidently, fullness occurred as the moon was at it's perigee, (the closest distance to the earth). But it wasn't just a regular perigee - oh no - it was the closest perigee during a full moon in 120 years. That's why it looked so bright, and that also meant the moon's pull on earth (and the Rocketman and crew of the good ship Slimetime and the muskies) was at it's maximum. Everything weighed .037% lighter than normal and that's sure to mess with the fishing. Not only that, during the exact time we were on the water there was a large solar prominence blasting us with solar wind particles and disrupting the ionosphere and magnetic field of the earth. To make matters even more bizarre, the constellation Pisces (the fish) was directly in opposition. And finally, if you look at the Lunar Tables for 10/8, you will see that the peak fishing activity ended at 2:22pm, eight minutes before we set rods. Maybe we didn't just suck after all, maybe it was a celestrial problem!?!?
The good news is that perigee/gravity/opposition stuff isn't going to happen again until the year 2137, and then it's on a Wednesday in April anyhow. The bad news is that it will be a while before I can use this excellent excuse again.
I got this email a couple days ago...
Whoa - I guess he told me a thing or three! I am still trying to figure out that bit about the TV and autografs and little people. WTF - has somebody been hitting the bong a little toooooo hard? Anyhow, here is the situation. All those orders that are supposed to be done this month will be. I already sent out a bunch of "Lures Done" emails. All the rest of the lures are machined and I am painting like crazy. Saturday is the end of the month. They will all be done by then. If you haven't already got a notice you should get one by Saturday. If you don't then maybe your email is broke and you should contact me again from one that works. And by the way Bob, I know my way back from Ohio no problem. Practice makes perfect!
Sorry for being so incognito lately folks. I have been way too busy at my rocket science day job and doing all kinds of repairs and improvements to the Terminator Muskie Lures World Headquarters / Bachelor Pad / Custom Nails Salon. That's totally fuxed-up my fishing, titty barring, computering, luremaking, MuskieBabe chasing and other fun activities. Slimetime has been sitting so long there are FERNS growing under it! The Muskie God(ess) probably doesn't even remember us anymore.
Now that September is finally here it's time to get those priorities in line. The hell with driveway patching and designing jet engine parts - I wanna mark some size 4's again! I wanna run my Dogturd TX on a downrod! I wanna make the crew get me a Rolling Rock and clean the weeds off my slider! I wanna hear a drag go screaming! I wanna have to get the net! I wanna have slime all over the boat and step in it with my bare feet!!!!
Whoa - I got myself kind of worked up there. If I want all that stuff I better quit whining, get off my dead ass and go fishing again huh? From now until the end of the season those muskies just keep getting fatter (just like the Rocketman ha ha) and we all know that there is nothing like a big fat one in the boat to improve your attitude....
If you work in a punch and die shop here is a rare opportunity to get some Terminators. I need to start making my own lips. I originally got lips from Spike but a couple years ago Spike retired and sold all his inventory and stamping die sets to another lure manufacturer in Wisconsin. It seems this guy is either out of business or no longer interested in my piddly requirements. Well, he's not interested in Rollie and Helen's piddly requirements either, cause they can't get any from him either. I bought all the Terminator size lips that Rollie and Helen's had and then I got some more cut out by waterjet thanks to the help of one of you guys. I have enough lips for the fall production but I'll need more for next year.
The lips are made from 1/8" thick Lexan sheet. There is a picture with dimensions HERE and I have the Lexan material on hand. I am willing to trade some Terminators for a punch and die button that will stamp these out. If you're interested you need to contact me pretty damn quick so I can add your lures to the batch I am starting for fall delivery.
Different subject - if you have a link to my GUESTB00K in your favorites and you're getting a "404 Page Not Found" error message when you try to go there that's 'cause I changed it. Unfortunately some dipshit spammers found it and they were posting all kinds of crap there. They can't do it any more cause I changed the URL and it's called a GUEST PAGE now and spammers are too stoopid to figure that out ha ha. All the links to the new GUEST PAGE are updated and you can click any one of them or you can just click HERE.
Well Muskieheads, it's finally here. Saturday, June 3 is opening day of mooskie season on Lake St. Clair. If you're going to give it a shot then remember that it is been kind of a cool spring and the water temperature is still pretty low. The relentless forces of biology are dictating the muskies' actions and they may still think it's time for making baby muskies. Nothing like a roll in the cabbage in good old Anchor Bay huh? If you pull a big straight (like a Carp flavored Terminator TX hint hint) about 4 mph in about 9' of water near the deeper stuff you have a fair chance of latching onto one of those big girls. Take a pic, give her a kiss for the Rocketman, and put her back. I guarantee she will weigh even more in the fall!!!!
If you missed out on this year's Terminator production you have one last chance. Here are the details. I plan on making a small quantity of lures in the August/September time frame. It looks like I have about 55 TXs and 70 assorted T2/T3/ST3 available. These are all the bodies that I already have lathed. Orders will be taken on a first come, first serve basis only, and as soon as the bodies I have on hand are gone, that's it.
The prices for these will be the same as they have been but I am giving you fair notice right now that next winter there will have to be some increases. Unfortunately, my costs for everything from paint to lips to hooks and screws to heating have gone waaaaay up. Order now and you get the old prices and delivery in time for fall fishing.
This is an update of my last update. As of May 15, about half my orders are finished and shipped, all lures are machined, about 92.36% of what is still open is painted, and the last paint batches will done by Friday, May 26. All "Lure Done" notices will be sent by then too. If you have a confirmed order and don't get a "Lure Done" notice by Saturday, May 27 then too bad for you. Just kidding ha ha. Either I screwed up and mistyped your email address or you changed it. Send me a new email and we'll fix it and get your badass Terminators to you in time for the opener.
Speaking of openers, I have one little hint for you. Keep your eye on your temperature gage and look for some water a little warmer than the rest. It would be even better if that aforementioned water was about 8-9 feet deep, kind of between a big shallow weedy area and some deeper, colder big water. Maybe a little structure might help. No weeds on the bottom. A few baitfish on the screen. Hmmmm, sounds kind of like a sandbar doesn't it? Now let's say you were to pull some boards over such an area and were running some lures (Terminators of course, perhaps a Carp flavor) sorta high, like 20/2 or even 10/2 and just a tad slower than usual (3.8 mph), well something just might happen.....
I am pleased to report that I finally got off my dead RocketAss and made a few lures. Yep, some of your orders are actually done and more will be done in the near future, and then the rest will be done after those (Duh!). Well, since everything is promised to be done by Opening Day they better be huh?
If you have a confirmed order with a fairly low number then you might want to check your email every so often. You also might want to figure out a way to get hold of your wife's checkbook and/or figure out some good excuse of why you need to blow her budget paying for YET MORE fishing stuff (as if you don't already have enough, blah, blah, blah).
Anyhow, I have sent out some "Lure Done" notices already and after every batch I paint I will be sending out more. Once I get the last ones painted I will post an official notice on here too. And thanks for all your patience and cooperation.
If you work in a local shop with laser or waterjet cutting capabilities here is a rare opportunity to get some Terminators. I need lips. I originally got them from Spike but a couple years ago Spike retired and sold all his inventory and stamping die sets to another lure manufacturer in Wisconsin. It seems this guy is either out of business or no longer interested in my piddly requirements. Well, he's not interested in Rollie and Helen's piddly requirements either, cause they can't get any from him either. I bought all the Terminator size lips that Rollie and Helen's had but it's not quite enough for all the lures that I have on order right now, much less future business.
The lips are made from 1/8" thick Lexan sheet. There are pictures with dimensions above and I have the material on hand. I am willing to trade some Terminators for getting these lips cut out. If you're interested you need to contact me pretty damn quick. I need to get this going in the next week or so.
If you have Terminators on order right now don't worry. I have enough lips for all the orders that I have painted thus far plus the next couple weeks of production. After that, if nobody wants to trade, I'll just get more lips cut out by one of the laser or waterjet subcontractors we use at the company where I work.
There I was the other night at Scarlett's having a couple cold ones and enjoying the views when all of a sudden I had the shock of my life. This dancer there had her fingernails and toenails painted in a pattern that looked just like a Patty Sweetthighs Terminator! They even had little Lazer Eyes on them! Whoa!! I damn near choked on my Rolling Rock. So I asked her where she got 'em painted and she said at some nail salon there in Toledo and it cost her $80!!!
Obviously I am in the WRONG business. Here I am bustin' my ass painting these lures in the Terminator World Headquarters (see above) when I could be painting some gorgeous babe's nails instead for more money. WTF!!! I told her next time I would do it for $60 ($50 if she wore a skirt and no panties) and on top of that I have a crapload of patterns. Fire Tiger, White Belly Scale Bluefrog, NINE DOLLAR BASS for chrissake!! The possibilities are endless!
So now all you Exotic Dancers (and MuskieBabes too of course), the Rocketman is pleased to announce the Grand Opening of Rocketman's Custom Nails Salon. For a limited time until the first Saturday in June, get your nails painted for the special introductory low price of only $60 ($50 if you wear a skirt and no panties) and the Rocketman will throw in, at no additional charge, a free "Terminator Muskie Lures and Custom Nails Salon" tee-shirt!
Well, it sure does suck that every couple days I have to go outside and broom the snow off my boat cover. Poor Slimetime is parked outside the Terminator World Headquarters on it's trailer, totally pitiful looking. All the water here in the Port of Brighton is frozen solid as slush and covered with snow too. And to make it worse you guys down in Florida send me these pics of these giant ocean fish you are catching. Go ahead - rub it in. I can take it. I'll even post those pics.
All I have to say is enjoy your 15 minutes of fame while you can, because come June we'll be fishing for REAL fish again....
Yep folks, you guessed it. The Fat Lady has sung. The ramp has froze solid now and with the highs not predicted to go over 30F for the rest of the week it's not looking too fishable in the time left before muskie season closes. And I ain't going to try launching through the ice again either. That's just too hard on the trailer taillights and my transducers and prop. Not to mention the problem with the brewskis all freezing too. Been there, done that, didn't like it.
Now what the hell am I gonna do until the first Saturday (6/3 in case anyone is counting) in June? Maybe I'll kick back here in the new and improved Terminator Muskie Lures World Headquarters, thaw out that 12 pack I had reserved for the last trip out, put some Doors on the stereo, and clean my airbrush. Can't fish so I might as well make some lures. Hint, hint, the Order Page might magically re-appear around December 26.
After an embarassingly long absence from the water, the Rocketman and loyal crew finally made it back out. We didn't get any hogs but overall we did OK. The most important thing was that it was great to finally be muskie fishing again. In my demented opinion from now until the end of the season is the best time to be fishing. I am fortunate that things in my dysfunctional life are finally settling down enough to get out again. I'll need to do it a lot over the next couple months to make up for lost time.
All my left over Terminators are long gone. I apologize to those of you who wrote but couldn't get anything. I had to do it first come, first serve. I am trying to get set up in my new house to make them again this winter. Of course that's contingent on not having all my time taken up by all those nymphomaniac MuskieBabes. So far they're not a problem.
The status is that everything that I had on order was finished and I sent out "Lures Done" emails at the end of last month. So far about 1/2 of the orders are shipped but there are still some people that I haven't heard from. If you had an open order you should have received one of those emails. If you didn't please contact me right away and I'll send you a copy so you can get your lures before the fall fishing starts to heat up.
Also please note that these orders may be the last of the Terminators for a while. I haven't been able to set up an area to paint in my new house yet. There are some issues with power and venting that need to be addressed and I don't have the cash for that right now. Damn, being a bachelor again is expensive! The only way that I can hope to afford to set up production again is by shipping all the orders that I have done. In the event that I don't hear from everyone who has finished orders in the near future I will have no choice but to make them available for sale on a first-come, first-serve basis. Additionally, I already have a few extras left over from previous production. If you are interested in knowing what is available, or might be available soon, please send me an email. Thanks and....
More weirdness from the Rocketman's inbox......
As a matter of fact Bob I was working on a couple titty dancers myself Saturday night. I had them on for quite a while, but then lost them both when my wallet got broke. Damn!!! That's a pretty nice sturgeon you have there. Your buddy Al is gonna be pissed when he sees it bumped his mooskie. Tell him to send me $50 and I'll put his pic back on here ha ha.
I am embarassed to report that I have been moving and doing home repairs and improvements instead of fishing. Turning my retro ranch into a cool bachelor pad is a damn lot of work. I am making some progress though. The garage is all finished. I painted that sucker white and slate blue. It looks like a giant size upside down Bluefrog except there is a red pinstripe (matching the Rocketsled color of course) between the white and blue. Martha Stewart would be soooooo jealous if she saw it!
I finally had time to work on lure orders over the weekend. They are all machined now and all that's left is the painting. All you guys with confirmed orders can quit worrying. They should all be done by September 1st or shortly thereafter. Don't lose any; it might be a while before I can make more.
Well folks, the continuation of my muskie fishing career is temporarily delayed for a few weeks again while I get moved into my new house and turn it into an appropriate bachelor pad and Terminator Muskie Lure Company World Headquarters. The Slimetime will now hail from The Port of Brighton. The new house is a typical red brick ranch - totally retro! All it needs is some new shag carpet, a bean bag chair, a lava lamp, and a bong and it will feel just like home. Donations welcome. Nymphomaniac MuskieBabes welcome too. Thank you for your cooperation.
Guess how many times your hero the Rocketman has been out fishing this year?
Well folks, due to an unforseen divorce beyond my control, the start of my muskie fishing season is temporarily delayed for a few weeks while I find a new place and get moved. In the interim, please make an extra effort to post your Fishing Reports so once I get on the water again I'll know right where to go ha ha. Oh yeah, also please feel free to pass along my email address to your nymphomaniac MuskieBabe sister-in-law so I'll have something to do until then. Thank you for your cooperation.
On Saturday, June 4 the 2005 muskellunge season opens up here on Lake St. Clair. It's about time to get some slime. The water levels are a little better than last year but you should still watch it at the boat ramps and in the channels. The water temps are a little low and so I expect this will be late spawn or early post spawn conditions in general. I wouldn't be surprised if Anchor Bay produces a real big fish or two like usual. All guests of this site are invited to use the Fishing Reports page to let us know how it's going. Good Luck and...
Here is an update for everyone with confirmed orders. I will be all finished painting by May 12, and everyone should get an invoice email from me by May 13. If you have a confirmed order and don't hear from me by the let me know. If you gave me an AOL email address you might want to write from a different email service becasue it seems that about 25% of the time I reply to an AOL email address I get a "delivery failure" notice.
The Rocketsled needs more horsepower. The Muskieboat Slimetime needs a new GPS. I want to go to the titty bar. All that stuff costs money. I need some. On Friday the 13th (appropriate date huh?) I will post a link to an active Terminator Muskie Lures Order Page!!! I have about 50 TX and 100 various T2/T3/ST3 bodies available. I can get them all painted before Sept 1, just in time for that awesome fall fishing. Orders will be taken on a first come, first serve basis and only for the number of bodies I have on hand. Then the order page will disappear. If you want some Terminators this year, this will be your chance.....
Every so often I come across something cool, something that stands out, something that is worthy of the ultimate of all endorsements, "It's a Good Thing". In fact, just the other night I was at Platinum Showgirls in Toledo and there were quite a few good things there. But that's not what I am talking about. Instead, I finally found a tackle box to hold my Terminator TX's!
Well, I have some pretty lousy news. I hope no one gets pissed off. I had a real surprise when the waiting list customers' orders came in. There were way more than I expected. It looks like I might not be able to open to the public at all this year and I will be busting butt to get everything already on order done by opening day.
I don't usually even have a waiting list. I consider it unfair. However, last year I took some orders and then some stuff came up and I couldn't make the lures, and the waiting list was mostly those people who had already ordered last year.
I really sincerely apologize to anyone who wanted to get some Terminator Lures this year. All I can say is that I am already working on making the ones on order now and will try to get them all done ASAP. If things go well then maybe I can do a few more in late spring or early summer. Please don't write and ask to be on some waiting list for those. I learned my lesson and I am not doing THAT anymore!
The 2004 Lake St. Clair Muskie Season is officially over December 15. The 2005 Muskie Season doesn't open until Saturday, June 4. Now what am I going to do? Normally I would go to the titty bars but due to my recent acquisition of the black hole of finances (a.k.a. the Rocketsled), all my cash flow has been negative lately. The Terminator Lure Company hovers precariously on the brink of bankrupcy. Well, maybe not bankruptcy, but I don't have a bunch of spare twenties to tip the lap dancers like I usually do. So I am asking for your help.
Help! I need donations!!! Send your tax deductible contribution to the:
If you don't want to send free money to support my bad behaviors, then perhaps you would like to buy some Terminator Lures instead? Does that sound better? Well, this is maybe your chance almost. This is official notice that pretty soon I might open up for business. If you have already written about getting some Terminators you get to go first. I'll send you an email shortly with a link to a working order page. If you have ordered Terminators before and want some more, send me an email and I'll send you the link. If you never ordered from me before just hang on. I need to take care of my present customers first.